In crappy move, Congressional interference forced D.C. to close its public bathrooms

We’ve always pointed out that Congress has a lot of control over D.C., but where and when its residents and visitors can go to the bathroom was never something that crossed our minds – until now.

Last Saturday, D.C.’s six free public toilets were closed, in large part due to a House bill passed in March that needlessly forced the city to cut its current operating budget. Congress, one could argue, is crapping on D.C., and people are pissed off. (Sorry, not sorry.)

The House bill initially forced the city to slash $1.1 billion in spending, though through some creative financial tricks, local leaders were able to bring that down to roughly $350 million in cuts – $175 million of which had to come from reductions to grants and contracts. 

One of those contacts was with Throne, the Maryland-based operator of the city’s six futuristic public toilets, which we recently hailed for being convenient and clean. The toilets – which are accessible using a phone, app, or key card – are located in key locations across the city, including Dupont Circle, the Columbia Heights Plaza, the Eastern Market Metro, outside D.C. Superior Court, at Alethia Tanner Park, and at Oxon Run Park. They have been used more than 63,000 times since mid-2024.

According to people with knowledge of the situation, the contract with Throne, which had been active on a month-to-month basis since February, was deemed non-essential and cut by City Administrator Kevin Donahue. (Or was it flushed? Wiped away? Sorry, not sorry.)

“Now we can go back to the good old days of a guy urinating in plain sight on a local business,” opined one irate resident on Reddit.

“Thrones have provided essential restroom access in heavily used public spaces within D.C. The District should be investing MORE in public restrooms, not less. Plentiful, clean, safe public bathrooms are an essential service – and a public health imperative D.C. lacks in too many of our parks, plazas, and trails,” added one signer of a petition calling on D.C. to reopen the bathrooms.

D.C. officials listened. In an emailed statement on Tuesday, Donahue said: “We have identified funding to maintain the program for the remainder of [fiscal year 2025] while the council deliberates whether to appropriate funding for FY2026.” (Each Throne costs about $85,000 a year, which includes daily cleaning and regular maintenance.)

The council, for its part, has found money to expand the program in the upcoming fiscal year, which starts Oct. 1. Ward 1 Councilmember Brianne Nadeau, who championed the initial public-restroom program, had identified funding to add four more Throne toilets to the existing six; the new locations are slated to be at the Starburst Plaza in Northeast, Marvin Gaye Park in Northeast, the Ellington Plaza and Seventh and T Streets NW, and Watkins Recreation Center in Southeast. (The first council budget vote is next Monday.)

That D.C. found the money to bring the toilets back online is probably best for Congress, honestly. One could only imagine if D.C.’s 700,000 residents – fueled by half-smokes and coffee – decided to protest by rushing to relieve themselves all at once in the House and Senate office building bathrooms. 

Urination without representation, right? (Sorry, not sorry.)